I sat in my chair again and finally raised my eyes to look at her. She was staring at the files on my table. Her shoulders were starting to relax, but her brows remained stiff and pinched. She wore a navy blue cardigan over black jeans, with her hair left open to shroud her face. Dark colors to blend into the crowd; open hair to hide behind. She hadn't said a single word in the time I had been there. She sat perfectly still, which could mean several things. She might be dissociating—the silence making her thoughts scream until she just wanted to disappear into a void. Or, she was assessing what I would do. I began mirroring her: taking the same breaths, inhaling and exhaling in sync with her, so she would know instinctively that she could trust me with her thoughts. Once she had settled and taken notice of her surroundings, I was sure she was comfortable. I called her name. “Ms. El_” "Everyone else starts talking before I even sit down," she said. "Why didn't you?" I knew I had to pick my answer carefully. "Because you've been shouting inside your head for twenty minutes," I replied. "I was waiting for you to finish." She just stared at me, her big, round brown eyes unblinking and her lips set in a stern line. "Ms. Elara June, I know there have been many doctors you've discussed your problems with. I believe you might be tempted to taint your answers based on what you've told them before. But rest assured, you don't need to do any of that with me. I am as oblivious to you and your feelings as you are to mine. So, start anew. Tell me your thoughts as if they have just occurred to you—as if you have never shared them with anyone. You can take as much time as you need to gather them.” She started fidgeting again, clenching her fingers tightly against the fabric of the sofa. "We don't have to solve anything in the next fifty minutes," I added softly. "We just need to talk." "You don’t understand, Dr. Aris Varma. I need to solve this. I have been sick for too long. I need to feel normal for once. I've talked to so many people, so many doctors here, but they just recommend someone else and get rid of me. It's like they don't want me to be normal, or they don't know how I can be. Is my case really that complicated? Am I really that insane?" "Ms. Elara. You are not sick. You are just conflicted. Don't think about anything or anyone else right now; just try to voice your thoughts." “There are voices in my head.” I clicked open my pen and placed the nib on my notepad. "Sometimes they are so loud," she whispered. "I can barely sleep." I didn't say anything, allowing the silence to pull more from her, but she was waiting for my reply. “Are they scary?” I finally asked. "No, I guess not. Or perhaps they are not anymore. Once something recurs so much in your life, I think it doesn't remain scary. It becomes... a sickness."
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