2024 Winner Essay A Gentle Ear, by Adam Rivas What is the script you need when you’re trying to convince a loved one not to take their own lives or when they reach out to you for help because of the suicidal ideations they are feeling? What do you even say when that person on the side of the bridge or has a handful of pills and is on the brink of ending it all at that moment? Has anyone really pondered how to soothe a soul that is having suicidal ideations? In my experience, when reaching out, there definitely have been people say the wrong things when I was on the ledge. In this piece, I would like to address and educate others on what to do when a loved one is about to give up. First off, I want to start by saying, being there for someone and answering that call in the middle of the night from a person in pain is a good deed in itself. No matter what, being there for someone is the best thing you can do. The courage someone has to reach out takes tremendous strength because at that time, they feel burdened by it or they just feel like no one cares at all so saying the wrong thing at that time could end their will to reach out again. Before starting this essay, I’ve reflected on the statement’s others have said to me when I was in the darkness. “Just be happy” “What’s your deal?” “What’s wrong with you?” “That’s weird” etc. Don’t get me wrong, there has been plenty of people that are good at being there when the floodgates of tears roll in however I just want people to know how to approach this delicate situation. I think the one major thing anyone can do is listen… listen listen listen. Don’t talk about your thoughts on the situation or how you know how they feel because you don’t. People are complicated and have different reactions to events in life. A simple matter could be very complicated to another. For example, being depressed about a pet passing away might seem small compared to another that doesn’t care about animals as that person does. We as humans, have a set of emotions that is extremely different as well as mindsets. If they are experiencing grief, mentioning a person you lost and saying you know what they are going through isn’t the right approach; you have to let them vent and talk about what they are going through. This brings me to my next subject; trauma battling. This has happened to me countless times and I’ve seen it happen to others as well. Don’t start trauma battling when someone is talking about pain or self-harm or any type of depression they are experiencing. Its not remedying the situation, it’s fueling that darkness and it just ends up consuming you both. There was a time when self-harming was a regular
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